POEMS BY:

Thomas Travis
 

Collection index:


True Love. Please don't make me cry. Long Lost Love. I loved to fight. I'm  So, So Alone.
The Love within. Death. Love is that of. Mybe that some is you. It.
Strange. As Long as you love me. Pitiful. Suicide. Loven you.
Missouri called life. Christine. Love, is For the Beautiful and Strong. Kim. Drugs.
Elizabeth. I'm Sorry! Chancie. The Soul Love, of my Heart. Beauty Portrayed.
I Still Love to Fight. Natalie. The Truth of Love. The Soul of Mine. The Unknown Can Kill You.
A Letter of Love. Courtney, you are my forever destiny. Interment. Our God Forever. Fate.
A Child Hood Experience. The Flood.

 
 

I used to be an incurable romantic heart. And so for most of my life, Valentine's Day has been my favorite holiday. I was finally "cured" of the notion that romance was THE thing holding the potential to make me feel happy. I no longer think as much about romance as I used to. I'm learning to recognize love's language in ways I had not considered before. Some things, which once seemed important to me, I now view from new angles. I am changing. . . slowly. . .or more precisely, I am being changed.
Why do famous performers sing ballads carrying the message... "Love Hurts!"? It is because they have not understood Love! Why do poets lament over and over…  "Love Hurts!" Because, I say again, they have not understood Love! May I be so bold as to say what hurts? It is NOT being loved and /or NOT being appreciated by the object of one's affection that hurts. Don't blame Love! The most profound thing ever written on the topic of Love is in the book of I John chapter 4: verse 8 of the holy scriptures. This verse sums up God in only three short and very sweet words - 'GOD IS LOVE'!!!!

 


True Love.

As I look into your big blue eyes I realize,
that our love flies high like the beautiful dove.
Your what I’ve always wanted  a True Love.  But every time that I try to reach you,so I can teach you  just how special my love can be. You run from me.  I know I might be a little hefty, but I need you to see the beauty with in. so you can picture me as thin. Just please don’t make me blue for you are my one and only “True Love.”





 
 
 




Please don’t make me cry.

Please don’t make me cry, every time I see you I ask myself why, why should I try to love you, Your always untrue. Every time you lie it makes me want to die. I mean I don’t want to die. But just please; please “don’t make me cry.”




 
 
 




Long Lost Love.


Are you my long lost love, because you are as beautiful as the nesting dove? We can take are love much further, than anyone before. ‘cause we have each other to adore. We can sore hi in the sky. Come on baby don’t be shy, don’t worry I will never lie, because you are my, “Long lost love.”





 
 




I loved you.

I Loved You! For years I longed to feel your touch and when you smiled at had a hunch that you loved me to. But know I am so blue, because you tore my heart in two with the simple word “No.”
I Loved You! Why cant we start a new, for my relationships in the past, Hell they never last. At night I dream of holding you tight, to feel you’re body pressing to mine in that blissful embrace, our chests to chests, face to face.
I Loved You! Know my dream is at its climax. But I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to say good – bye. Now your fading and I wake up in reality and realize we were never meant to be. You don’t love me. Now I think; at least I thought, “I loved you.”





 
 




I Love to Fight.


I love to fight! Day or night. All I have to do is throw the first punch, eeew right in the nose, what a nice touch.
I love to fight! I usually hit with my right, until I knock ‘em out of sight the only weapons I choose to abuse are that of my fist. Believe me you don’t want to be next on my list.
I love to fight! Some people say I’m crazy, just beware if you say it to my face, you’re in for a scare and you better have a can of mace. ‘cause I’m goin be on top of you I a secon’ trowen lefts and rights; just a deckin.’ My last words of advice. Just be nice, and don’t get in my face or be a disgrace ‘Cause now you know, “I love to fight.”





 
 




I’m So, So Alone.


I’m so, so alone in this life I call Hell. It’s sad being in school, were you know you’re not cool and your surrounded by the people you know, but you’re still alone. It’s sad living on this earth for 14 years or more and not knowing whom you are. My life is filled with sorrow, pain, and strife. With every breath I dream of death. My life is a mess; it’s like god is giving me a test: a test I cant pass; please how long is this going to last. Just end the pain now, I’m not insane. It’s just that this life is so hard, like being in wrestling “No holds barred.” No one loves me; no one wants to be around me. Why cant y’all see, somebody needs to rescue me because “I’m So, So alone.”




 
 




The Love Within.


The Love Within!      The world is filled with that of love. It comes from the heavens above. Your love for me is so sweet; your lips are like a fine treat. I just want to know one thing; are you ready for us to go steady. Your love is all I need to succeed. Life keeps going every time we breed. In life even through the pain and strife, the most important thing we need to have is “The Love Within.”




 
 




Death.


Death, the dawning of life, comes upon us in an undesired burning that touches the soul. A little Troll scampers around hungry for life, a soul himself, living of the humanities of others. Mankind hungers for a different kind of life but those whom experience pain and strife, hate life. Like I sometimes, with every breath they dream of death. Life is that of a rude awakening, beckoning with every step for you to end it. But please don’t take the road that some have had to walk, just talk to somebody about it, the world is much more pleasant when you hunger for life and not for that of  “Death.”




 
 




Love is that of.


Love is that of the greatest thing,
Lets see what tomorrow has to bring.
Every time I’m with you I want to sing.

Love is that of a white dove,
Coming down from the heavens above.
Can’t you see I need your love?

Love is that of a stepping stone.
I hope the bank will give me a loan,
So we can take that long awaited trip to Rome.

Love is that of going back to school,
Were if you were mine everyone would know we are cool.
Come on baby we don’t have to follow any rule.

Love is that of being true,
Believe me when I say it’s only me and you.
I’ve got all the money in the world, we can go any were you want to.

Love is that of never telling a lie,
Believe me when I say I will give it a try.
I’ll never say good bye

Love is that of taking trips,
Even though I may need a couple of love tips.
Honey, you may never know how much I want to taste your lips.

Love is that of feeling your body pressed to mine,
Believe when I say I will love you until the end of time.
I can’t explain how much I love you, no matter what the rhyme.

Love is that of woman and men.
We need to get up off the floor of this den.
You know we need to do this again.

Love is that of clothes on the floor.
Now you know there’s no need for a door
Believe me our love can sore
“'Tis just this and nothing more.

Love is that of the birds and the bees.
Oh about the ring you don’t owe me any fees,
Come on I’m getting down on both knees.

Love is that of looking in each other eyes.
Baby, in love there are no ties.
There will never be any good byes.

Love is that of marriage,
Baby, I think its time to put a baby in the carriage.

Love is that of a magnificent thing,
Please give me your hand, it’s time for the ring.

In life love has a lot to bring, it makes you so happy you want to sing, and it’s just because, “Love is that of…”





 
 




Maybe that some one is you.


The things coming, coming after me. Come on I need to get away I, I just cant stay. I need some one to hold on to. Someone that won’t make me blue. Some one, that for once, can be true. Maybe that someone is you. Can you love me like you do those other guys… can you put behind us all those lies. Can’t you just realize…? There are so many questions, so little time; I can’t explain how much I love you no matter what the rhyme. I just love you, so  “maybe that someone is you.”




 
 




It.


Pursuing you in the night, it comes upon you in a flash of light with all its might. Trying to condemn you to hell it cast upon its spell. A spell of misery and pain. It hopes to never let you feel the drop of a steady rain.
A flash upon your eyes comes the uprising of the fire… to tear your heart into, no matter what you may desire and I scream, “Cant you see it wasn’t me,” and it replies, “You damn liar.”
Then he laughs in victory. With those vicious eyes he looks at me s I beg on one knee and it pays no mind to the words I have to see… and it, the thing, death, the devil, throws me in the fire, to face day by day hell, and it’s all because of “it.”




 
 




Strange.


People say I’m strange. So I guess it’s time for a change. Hopefully for the better. It’s sad when you get a letter or two, stating how people are mad at you and they want you to die.
Hell, right now I’m thinking I might just try. Maybe suicide is the only way out. A little one on one with death until were done. I, standing upon the edge, peer over and all I see below is an eternity of hell, called life, left behind. I peer up into the sky and ask god why, why did my life have to turn out this way. I have to end it I just can’t stay. I’m like a stray upon the humanity on earth and when I die, somebody will give birth… to one who is like I, whom in the mist will want to die as if a desire. And it’s all because he will be like I, “Strange.”




 
 




As Long As You Love Me.


Yo, wuz up with my main squeeze, girl you know you isn’t easy to please. Damn you looken good today stop given off that tease. You look like dark chocolate. Lets you and me go on a date, come on I ain’t like those other guy's I won’t be late. Why don’t you surprise your roommate by not coming home tonight? You and I can stay up ‘till the early light. Doin’ what, is not yet known, come on baby don’t leave me alone. I know a cheep motel or an expensive hotel, it doesn’t matter were going or what we do,  “as long as you love me.”





 
 




Pitiful.

As I glaze upon the shattered mirror, I stumble upon my reflection. A reflection of: pain, misery, and tears. It’s a hurricane of emotions that has built up during the years. A jagged piece of mirror sticks out of my wrist’ as the blood squirts on my clothes, I tell myself I can end this life I call hell with a simple twist And that’s what I do. As I tumble to the ground I say why, why I didn’t have to die. Could the reason be that no body likes me is because I’m usually high. I see the puddle of blood forming below me; “can’t someone see I need help.” As I gasp for my last breath. I scream, “please, please someone call 911… awe man what have I done. From the darkness of my soul comes a response to fill the hole. “My son you have climbed the final rung to heav'… Hell ha, ha, ha. Finally, Finally to days later two cops, on their way to the donut store, smell a faint aroma of death coming from my door. Later an ambulance arrives and they put a sheet over my head. But this can’t be, I can’t be dead. To dread and waste away a life just because you may experience a little strife is not only stupid, but also pitiful.





 
 




Suicide.

The dying rose of eternity bleeds upon thee… day by day the colors fade away. The pedals fall to the ground. Yet know one is around to step on them like people do an unwonted soul. The soul is dying inside. Every time this person is ignored, hurt, and pushed around. He losses a piece of himself inside. But there is no where to hide. Right now he’s thinking of death. Shall thou make this his last breath? He could take a knife to his vein on his wrist even though it’s the main course of blood flow. There’s a gun in the closet; shall he make a deposit? Of a bullet in the brain. He’s not insane it just there’s an ugly thing inside him he can’t contain. Still that is no reason for thou to commit such treason. Yet, there is also the jumping off of a building. Peering down he can see what he will be, that of a pancake on the ground. With people all around staring on with a frown of amazement and shock. Than he will knock on the door of heaven or hell and his soul will know be unable to tell the story of pain and strife. The hell thou had already experienced called life. . So far he is thinking about the knife yet, there is that rat poison in the cupboard. To eat the blubber of you’re skin from inside out. No, with out a doubt that is too much pain to sustain. Now he thinks of the highway at the end of the street. As He thinks to himself, “I’m beat.” He pulls a .45 from the closet… puts the gun to his brain. But know to see his life flash before his eyes, he can now realize. “Hell no, I cant go through with it, I cant quit.”
Now I can live to tell you that he is I. And that you don’t need to say good bye. Think of suicide as a roller coaster ride. Terrifying at first, then right in the middle you think, “What have I gotten myself into.” And at the end your heart is pumping rapidly as you fall to one knee and tell yourself that you will never do it again. Yet, you will. Come to think of it, suicide is like a little twit that you want to go away it like to play with your soul so it will stay. It’s the mother of any bitch and has more power than a witch. So at night, even though you may have no one to hold tight, do what I do and chant the simple phrase. “I hate suicide, I hate suicide.”





 
 




Loven You.


Loven you is tearing my heart in two. Day and night I dream of holding you tight. To see your bright eyes staring in to mine, but why would you love me you have guys standing in a line, but when can I be part of that line. To taste your lips would be like tasting a fine whine. A treasure I would cherish until the end of time a moment that could not be expressed with words. I would hold you forever close to my body are tongues pressing together, caressing But this will never happen for these are just dreams of “Loven You.”





 
 




Missouri called life.

Death rises from the ground and approaches you with an odor of a ghastly unknown to dethrone you from life. To end your strife like the many times you asked before. Then this death gives off a deadly roar it wants to rip you into like a boar. From his eyes I see a fire, burning like hell, in the depths of desire. Death wants to take me to the underground were there will be only the sound of screams and please, people down on there knees. “Why am I going to the infamous burning.” I scream to death as I wheeze my last breath. Why, why must I die? Choose someone else. But as always I must loose, as always I must here bad news. Now death takes my hand to lead me to the land of fire. Although I want to struggle, I cant. Death seems to have control over me. So I’m steadily walking with death, with nothing but doom before me. My life flashes before my eyes, but all that sticks is the lies that I have told, and been told. All the dreams I have had of somebody to adore. Now, as the days of yore, I’m being lead to my fate. Well maybe this fire will drown out the hate I have of this world. Place me in the fire of hell. Just end this, “Missouri called life.”





 
 




Christine.


Christine! Damn your look'en good today, all nice and clean you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. This, with out a doubt, is what being a teen is all about. There only one thing Christine, I’m afraid of meeting the old man; you know Mr. Brean.
Christine! I’m thinking were did you get those good looks, probably from Mrs. Brean. I look into your eyes and realize just how good looken they are. They’re as bright and beautiful as an evening star. There green with a teen steam or blue, while your telling me how you can love too.
Christine! I’ve got a certain spot, for you in my heart. Not on because you’re so smart, but also for your personality. Can’t you see that you and me need one another to succeed? In this life, you are what I need to end my strife.
Christine! You set my heart a’ flame, you have the power to tame my heart, with a deadly desire, lit with a passionate fire.
Christine! Your long beautiful hair, the styles of close you wear.” Whoa snap out of it ‘Travis. Sorry I can’t help but stare. To taste your lips will be like ruby red whine, it will keep getting better with time. You want me to tell how much I love you; but I cant, no matter what the rhyme.
Christine!  I will always be true and never make you blue.
I will not cheat and I will never beat. I want to be in your arms, so now you can face my charms. I will never lie and I will never say good bye. Lets try our luck on love, for we can get above any relationship before, ‘cause we have each other to adore.
Little Miss Brean! This poem is dedicated to you, my one and only; “Christine.”





 
 




Love, is For the Beautiful and Strong.


It’s a strong as my heart is,
It’s as mighty as the fist,
I call this phantom love, yes it ‘tis,
I want you to be next on my love list.

I want to hold you tight,
I want to feel the bliss,
I want to be with you all night,
I want to taste you kiss.

I feel the need to be with you,
I want to be in your arms,
I forever will be true,
I want to test your charms.

I’m willing to be with you, so will you be mine?
I will never say good bye,
I will love you ‘till the end of time,
I will never tell you a lie!

I want us to be together,
I can’t help but stair in your bright eyes,
Do you want me to wear the leather?
I want to give it a couple of tries.

You are as beautiful as a dove,
You run your fingers through my hair,
I want to test your love,
Whereever we my fare.

I cannot stand to be were you are not,
Girl you looken fine,
Damn you know you’re hot,
Your body and soul are mine.

Man, there’s something called time,
In which there is not enough of,
I love you so much I can’t think of a rhyme,
Out of all relationships we come out above.

Can I be on top?
Or down below?
I’m not going to stop,
I will never let go.

I lower my head as I nod,
I have so many things to tell,
As I preach to god,
This life sure is a lot better than hell.

I’m really tall,
I’m wearing a thong,
Now as I recall,
“Love, is for the Beautiful and Strong.”





 
 
 




Kim.


  Kim, man you are looken good today,
All nice and slim.
The last time I saw you was in the hall,
I couldn’t help but stare,
So I ended up running into the wall.
I wish I could talk with you
I wish I could walk with you,
I wish I could place my lips upon yours.
         I wish…
Well why do you wish, none of these can for fill the bliss, that has sustained for you over the years.
I’ve cried those many tears.
At night, my pillow is all I have to hold tight.
Then with without a trace of sleep, comes the dawning of light from the window pain.
Pain… just that word makes me strain.
Now there’s another day of school,
So it’s time for I to use my tool, a tool of love and affection for thou other.
I have decided to ask her out, even through the pain and doubt.
I walked up to her and this is what I had to say:
Kim
I wish I could talk to you,
I wish I could walk with you,
I wish I could place my lips upon yours,
I wish…
And she interrupts, “just Shut up and give me your kiss!





 
 




Drugs.


Drugs! They act upon you like bugs. You won’t be receiving any hugs, for the smell… well it’s that of hell. In your head you here the sound of a bell, the ringing is that of vessels carrying this lifeless hell I call drugs to your head, killing your blood cells. Making you feel dead.  Drugs are that of something you should dread. At night you try to go to bed. But you cant for you haven’t any one to hold tight. Now a new day brings upon the light and you get out of bed with a feeling of numb and think to your self  “why was I so dumb, why did I smoke the weed.” And answering your own question “I guess I wanted to fell the need, I thought it could help me succeed.” I could just spit in your face, for your are a disgrace, not only to me, but also to any race! Try to find a trace of any friends. But you cant, if you try to run across the room you pant. You are always depressed and blue for no one will ever love you.  You will live a short life, a life that consist of suffering pain and strife.

Drugs! You will never receive any bliss nor tenderness from thou other, or the love of a family, like thou mother or thy broth. You take that last sip of beer and I notice a tear for you know your drunk. If you feel down on your luck how about a drag from that cigarette … well, I will bet that you will regret it in the morning. Is life boring? How about a needle? Is that a yes? I’ll tell you what it feels like; a beetle bit as it digs into your skin, as you throw the bloody towel into the dirty clothes bin. Now your head starts to spin and you reflect not knowing what to expect- grief, unbelief, like a thief stealing your own life. Cutting your body like a knife, the drugs flow rapidly through you, ripping your life into.

Drugs! They are that of an evil thing like a bee it brings upon its sting. But sill you ignore it like it’s nothing. Why don’t you let go? You know your stronger than this ugliness, all it will bring you is that of a simple word called, “Stress.” Maybe, if anything to help save your life, you will get gods bless. Still you say how the drugs shalt not banish from thy body of this mortal. Now as many times before I have once again gaz’d upon thee, of the unholy forgotten soul, now you pay a heavy toll as the silence gives no token, as thy heart feels alone and broken. Now I have just one thing left to say, we all know that it will end are day, make people stay away, kill you, make you blue, tear your heart into, make you be untrue to thy other, and it’s all because of the simple word, “Drugs.”





 
 
 




Elizabeth.

Elizabeth!  Just hearing your name takes my breath away,
Day by day I’m with you, I want to stay,
When it comes to loven you, I will never delay.
You’re wandering why I keep dropping you a line,
It’s because I want you to be mine,
I taste, upon your lips, the after taste of ruby whine.
I now look into your green eyes,
And compromise to myself how our love flies.

Elizabeth! Your long Blonde hair,
The types of clothes you wear,
Please don’t feel uncomfortable, if ever I shall stare.
I think of you often, wandering were did you get those good looks?
Probably from Mrs. Lofton.

Elizabeth! You take away from me any thought of death,
You are like my life long dream,
Than from a stream comes an uprising of steam,
Like that of which rises from thou other when making
Beautiful love.  You make me not take that dive of death, I strive on love and you help me live my life you always tend to take away the unbearable strife.

Elizabeth!  Now I’m going to end my poem,
As I lie in my bed sick at home,
I will more than likely dream about you as I sleep,
You make me so happy, for you will never make me weep, now I lay my head down to rest as I peer upon the stares of the night I tell myself I will have you, forever to hold tight!





 
 
 




I’m Sorry!

I’m sorry to all, that I have caused any trouble,
I’m sorry to all that hath been caused pain,
I’m sorry if I’ve been given an order and didn’t do it right on the double,
I’m sorry but thankful to Jesus whom, at the cross, was slain.

I’m sorry to god if ever I shall cheat,
I’m sorry to god if ever I shall lie,
I’m sorry to all if I’m not neat,
I’m sorry to god if ever I’m a bother when I die.

I’m sorry to the earth if I spit on you,
I’m sorry but thankful to the ground, in which I have walked on,
I’m sorry to my girl if ever I make you blue,
I’m sorry if I’ve worried my parents by staying out until the crack of dawn.

I’m sorry to my therapist in physical therapy,
I’m sorry because I pulled a knife on them,
I’m sorry because I stabbed him with a pencil in the knee,
I’m sorry to the cops who had to pull me off of him.

I’m sorry to the principal if ever I shall get in a fight,
I’m sorry to thy neighbor if ever I don’t say hi,
I’m sorry to all that I have had to bit,
I’m sorry to my girlfriend to whom I said good bye.

I’m sorry to my dad, whom I had yelled at,
I’m sorry to my dog, to which I forgot to feed,
I’m sorry to my neighbor whose window I broke with a baseball bat,
I’m sorry to the earth for I have never planted a sunflower seed.

I’m sorry to my body in which has had to sweat,
I’m sorry to my brother for ruining his basketball game because I have no skill,
I’m sorry to all the fish that got tangled in the net,
I’m sorry to my body in which I’m going to have to kill.

I’m sorry to my family for ruining their life,
I’m sorry to the notebook paper that I had to cut,
I’m sorry to my soul that has had to endear all the strife,
I’m sorry to my friend whom I had to kick his butt.

I’m sorry to be a failure for not becoming prom king,
I’m sorry to my keyboard, in which I typed on to hard,
I’m sorry to the bee, which on me wasted its sting,
I’m sorry to all that I’ve wrestled no holds barred.

I’m sorry to my wrist, in which I have scarred with a knife,
I’m sorry but now I’m going to end my strife,
I’m sorry that I have to end my life.
I’m sorry that this may be my last and finale word.
I’m sorry now that my eyes are becoming blurred.
I’m sorry to my body that has lost a lot of blood.
I’m sorry for never being a stud.
I’m sorry as I walk into the heaven in the sky,
Now I’m sorry, for once again, I have to say goodbye.





 
 
 




Chancie.


Chancie, It’s a great deal to ask, but I would love to take a chance with your heart, you see my life is kind of a mess so I would like to make a brand new start. If we were together we would never split apart. If you were my girl I would take you across the big blue sea, why don’t we give it a whirl? Just you and me. I will take you anywhere you would like to go and I will never tell you no. If ever you are cold, well don’t worry for I am bold and will warm you up in a heartbeat. If you want to watch a movie come over here by me and take a seat. The taste upon your lips is that of a fine treat.
Chancie! You set flame to my heart like an arson, I’m wondering were did you get those good looks probably from Mrs. Larson, she too is one of the nicest people I have ever met, if we were together I would bet that she wouldn’t mind. If ever you are in a bind, just give me a call and I will be there in under a second, even if I have to run through a brick wall. Than the next day at school I notice you in the hall and get a gleam in my eye, in which only you can spy. Your good looks and charms are that of which will make me die if I’m not in your arms. If only thou knew the dreams I dared thought of you, you to would hope for the best and we would discover that we don’t need the rest even though we may not be the best. Now you lay your head upon my chest, and even though your hair might exasperate or in other words irritate my face I fell that our hearts in the right place.





 
 
 




The Soul Love, of my Heart.

As Lovely as a car!
As Lovely as a bee!
As Lovely as a star!
As Lovely as you and me!

As Strong as a dog!
As Strong as my moms tea!
As Strong as Fog
As Strong as you and me!

As Scared as a cat!
As Scared as a mouse!
As Scared as a bat!
As Scared as you are from a haunted house!

As bad as a robber!
As bad as my mother!
As bad as a hen dirt dauber!
As bad as my brother!

As good as the heart is!
As good as fresh air!
As good as my friend Liz!
As good as a welcomed stare!

As fun as watching TV!
As fun as watching someone die!
As fun as watching you and me!
As fun as watching paint dry!

As exciting as running around the block!
As exciting as building a fort!
As exciting as jumping off the doc.!
As exciting as playing a sport!

As…
Well,
It’s LOVE and it’s as lovely as… (Refrain)




 
 
 




Beauty Portrayed.

I’m mesmerized by the portraying of your beauty and fatigued of the thought of your visique. I long for you so badly I can hardly think. I see you and am hypnotized, not able to blink.
Though I may sometimes procrastinate, I will never put you off to any other date and with you I shall never be late.
You tear me up inside with the simple blowing of a kiss. As your pressed upon my chest I feel the bliss & tenderness. Your heart rip’s through mine tearing it apart. Now I notice the _______ whine that dribbles down your chin as I rub my hands up and down your moisturized skin.
The girls come and go and it’s easy to tell them no, but you are the only WOMAN in my life. You are the one I want to be my wife. I will wake up every morning with you by my side and what e’er betide our love abide an eternity together; forevermore.
 

Words of Wisdom- from Travis Thomas
Love is... Well, I feel that no body knows the true meaning of love. I, speaking as a poet and a teenager, haven’t much experience on TRUE "love" yet I know its there! Since I'm not "very good looken" as some would say there’s only one thing I live off of besides my morals... Romance! The few in school that have felt my "love" know the experience as true passion. There are many things you can do...

Hold thou soft hand in the palm of yours. Look that special person in there beautiful eyes. Kiss the back of your significant other's hand as if you were never to let go, pull the hand to your heart as you place your kiss upon his/her lips and smile at thou other soulfully as you softly whisper in there ear "I Love You!"

There are many other things you can do. I know that might sound weird for it '‘tis coming from a "hopeless romantic" but I have love... or shall I say romanced and for every body, there is a love out here in this cruel world that thou will find and forever LOVE 'till the end of time!





 
 




I Still Love To Fight.


I still love to fight! So if you’re talking trash, you better get out of my site or I will nock you in the eye an then the ass with all my might. You will fly to the ground and gaze into the sky seeing stars all around your head. Instead of fighting me you would rather be dead so no more would you dread.

I still love to fight! Believe me, if I land a punch I have a hunch that you will see the light. Boy you better pack a lunch for I will take you all the way from the morning all into the dark of night. Then you run home and boohoo to your dad about how your feelings are hurt and your sad. Now you come back and say he is going to sue… woop-de-doo if he gets in my face I will punch him to. I will bruise you ‘till your black and blue!

I still love to fight! I punch you in the lip and it starts to swell as you fall in the grass I remark how I just kicked your ass and you can go to hell. Brass knuckles or golden belt buckles I don’t care which weapon your choose for you will loose, ‘cause you are facing I. So you better say good bye while you have the chance.

I still love to fight! You can dance in the squared circle like Mike Tyson or you can be as big as a bison. I don’t care if you throw a punch like Mohammed ale or sting like a bee. If you step in my territory you better worry for you just made your second mistake; your first was being born. Now by the time I’m through with you, you will be rugged and torn and you mourn to your mom how you need a bandage to help shut out the pain… just beware if you go there in my territory again you will be slain, because… “I Still Love to Fight.”





 
 
 




Natalie.


Natalie! Can’t you see that you’re the only one for me? I want to be around you all day and night. Wishing badly that I could hold you tight. Don’t worry for I will not bite. You are the only one I will not disobey. Come on I enjoy a little foreplay. I need you by my side day by day. You give me the power to hide all shame. You’re the one who can tame my wild heart you and I are just a part of a whole. Love will take its beautiful toll in time. So I hope you enjoy the rest of my rhyme.

Natalie! You make me see the light as you stare with your bright eyes into mine. Its like there is a sign on your body expressing that you love me. Don’t worry for only sometimes will I be naughty. I’ve known you for a real long while and you came into my heart with the flashing of a smile that only I could enjoy. You make me fell like a little boy, yet the only you toy I will be playing with is you. You, I understand now, will never make me blue. For that, you I do appreciate let me and you go on a date. If you haven’t already eaten, I will take you to dinner to eat. Come on it will be neat. Let’s you and I give it a try.
Natalie! You are like poetry: beautiful, warming to the heart, and yet devastating to my soul. You take a toll on my body ‘cause you are such a hottie I want to be with you were ever you may go… rain or shine. Hail, sleet, or snow; I don’t care when or where. I hear the steady drop of water, wet and cold and a raging stream flowing rapidly like my heart does. When I’m around you, I fell high like I have a buzz.
Natalie! Cat you see, god made you for me. I want to I want to be in your arms day and night, wishing so badly that forever I shall hold you tight.





 
 




The Truth of Love.


Without you I’m in darkness,
Without you I'm in pain.
Without you there's no sunlight,
Without you I would go insane

you're the one I trusted,
So I gave you my whole heart.
But everyday that passes,
It's slowly falling apart.

It's breaking because you've found,
someone else to receive your love,
and who am I to argue?
Only God knows the truth above.

I've never felt this way.
About any other woman.
I'll be really honest,
I don't think I ever can.

At first what I felt was happiness,
But then I learned it would never be.
Now when I think of you,
All I feel is misery.

Believe me I’m not blaming
My feelings all on you.
I just wish that I could make you
feel these feelings too.

That would make it easier
because finally you would see,
how much I truly love you
and how much you mean to me.

I can't express the emotions
that are flowing through my mind.
It devastates me to think
that your heart I may never find.

You already are aware,
of what you are to me.
Maybe I should give up,
before I lose my dignity.

But what is more important?
Only I know what is right.
Instead I’ll go on dreaming
through the day and through the night.

The truth is I'd do anything
you wanted me to do.
I'd swim across the ocean
and climb a mountain too.

As long as I'm alive,
I’ll never ever be free,
Because you hold my heart
and your are my destiny.





 
 
 




The Soul of Mine.


In the mist of all the scattered souls upon thy earth there a rises mine at the disgrace of my birth.
A child with an unforgotten eternity of hell, but there is no one to hear me yell.

The weed is all I shall use to succeed; it brings upon a new breed. Like I this new race of beings will want to die. Everybody in life has told me a lie, My brother, my father, my mother, oh hell, what’s the bother to “live life to the fullest”? For it ‘tis the dullest.
If a person ever needs someone to kill for a cheep thrill… well, I am here. I stare through a once burning, forgotten tear. I’m thirsty, how about a beer? I shall be drunk and my head will spin, feeling no dread as I step in front of the car… I’m not afraid of being dead. For this demented, tormented soul forever shall be free.

The creased appearance of death contours thy face of those whom shalt not be forgotten from my soul. My heart protrudes to many. But still, I feel nothing. People try cautioning me about death, about losing my last breath. I could care less, for I am courages. I don’t care if I’m taken down below, even though those words may be a little hard to swallow.
Will I go up or down? The thought of hell might make me frown, But I feel I will be taken to the land in the sky, so know I shall bid farewell, for this is my last good bye.





 
 




The Unknown Can Kill You.

When it is bright,
It comes upon thee.
When it is night,
It makes you beg on one knee.

It makes you leave the room,
It makes you go numb
It will lead you to doom.
It’ll make you feel like scum

It will not let you feel bliss,
It want let you be thin
It will not let you feel love like this
It’ll make you want to take aspirin.

It will lead you to death
It will end your life
It will make you take your last breath
It’ll add to you strife

It will make you feel pain
It will make you be dumb
It will make you want to be slain
It’ll make you a bum.

It will make you feel the suffering
It will make you feel dread
You will feel like your rotting
Now you will want to be dead.

This unknown, undaunted, way of life that causes most cases of strife, Is drugs. Something we should all be afraid of. In our teenage years and our grown up years.





 
 
 




A Letter of Love.

I love you
I want to be with you
I need you to like ME

I need you to be by my side
I want to be in your arms
I love your brains and BEAUTY

I want to taste your lips
I want you to be mine
I need you so badly, cant you SEE

I want us to be together
I want to turn two into one
I want you to understand I need THEE…

I hope you receive these words
I hope you understand my letter of love
Because now and forever you shall be my DESTINEY





 
 



Courtney, you are my forever destiny.

Courtney! I want you to see that god made your mind and beauty just for me. You are everything I have hoped for in a love… your intelligence and elegance is that of a white dove. I drop to one knee as I tell you, you are my forever destiny.

Courtney! Lets take a stroll down the beach and let are feet sink in the sand, I’m wandering were did you get those good looks, probably from Mrs. Cleveland. Can’t you see? You are my forever destiny.

Courtney! I’m not obsessed; I’m not insane. When I’m with you I feel blessed, with out your love all I would feel is pain. With out you there is no sunshine, just the chill of a thundering rain. Dang you know your looking fine. I want your body; your soul is already mine. When you around you seem to do something to me. I guess it’s because you are my forever destiny





 
 




Interment.

The external feeling of bliss comes upon me when I rest my head upon your breast. The sensual feeling of tenderness like I’m floating on the powdery, clouds above. All we need; is all we have, a simple word “Love.” Please cupid release that arrow with a flick of the arm, Because I want my baby to feel my charm. An easy way to romance is a steady dance in the night or rest in each others arms, holding each other tight in the near candle light.
In spite of the cold I lay bare in bed feeling bold with a thousand thoughts running through my head. The night is mine for god has blessed us with a sign of our bodies pressed together. We can stay in our room were I can only assume what we would do. You eyes are blue like the sky. Your good looks make me want to die in your hands and our souls would travel to the most beautiful lands. Instead we can stay in the den and forget the sin of sex before marriage. We should wait to put a baby in the carriage. Or we can drink the finest peach Chardonnay. Whatever it is, I will not delay. Whatever you say is okay with me, because I believe your eyes will never deceive what I door or if I breathe the same air as you. If only thou knew the dreams I dared thought of you. Then forever I shall never let you go.




 
 




Our God Forever.

God is the greatest man alive. He helps us with our problems he helps us strive. Day by day he makes the love within stay. Now it’s night and we pray and God rewards us with the light of day in the morning. Though God lives in the land above in a wonderful place called heaven. He is still in our hearts and listens to our every word. He made the land, the water, and every beautiful bird. Each and everybody is Gods beautiful work. He lets life go on, even though there are those few who do wrong and go down. That makes me frown but all you have to do is except Jesus into your heart and your life will never be torn apart. So whate’er betide the land abide our god; forevermore.

“Jesus is the best.”
Jesus is love
Jesus is marriage
Jesus created the beautiful dove
Jesus helped put your baby in the carriage

He will let you sing
He will let you have fun
He will give you the power to except the ring
He created the beautiful sun.

He made each and every cloud
He made the earth
He makes many people proud
The reason your here is because he aloud your birth

He makes this world go ‘round
He decides when to bring upon your death
He tries to make it safe for you to go downtown.
He decides if this will be your last breath.

He gives you the power to go on
He gives you the power to go on with life
He made the crack of dawn
He helps soothe a lot of your strife

He gives you integrity
He gives some of us feeling
He gave you the power to see
He makes you think of every thing

He tries to help every plea
He gives us pride
He does his best to comfort you when your on one knee
He helps us stride

He gives us dignity
He made food so that we can eat
He created many insects like the bee
He made the woman look like a fine treat

Over all he’s the greatest guy
He created the dove
He will never tell you a lie
So now that you have read this hopefully he has your love.




 
 




Fate.

The destined eternity of an over betrayed irradiant day comes before me again. Another sorrowful, dramatic time in which I shale face the future of which is the unknown. I, being a depressed, soul wants to die. I see others cut their wrist with the scars and the cuts I say what the hell why not give it a try.  Why die, some may say. Why end a beautiful day. In others eyes the day might seem pretty but to I it appears dark and gloom like death does in others eyes. Some call my bluff, some say I don’t have the guts. Well when the cops find me every one will be in for a surprise. Nobody needs me, nobody wants me. Yet still nobody can see how my soul needs to be set free. Will any body rescue me…? I think not. If I kill myself it might waste away my life, but it doesn’t matter for it’s full of strife. I shall now end my last thought for never has anybody taught me any better. I’m sorrowful inside and there isn’t a place I can go to hide from this pain. But now I let go for my heart shale forever be slain.




 
 




A Child Hood Experience.


Dear Anonymous,
I have spent all weekend thinking. Now I’m thinking that thinking ain’t enough. Instead I’m going to start taking a couple of actions. I have been typing a bunch of letters lately explaining or trying to explain “what’s going on lately with Travis?” I’m not really sure, yet I have been having a couple of family problems lately. Friday… hmmm, I was trying to be someone I wasn’t someone that I could not be. To try to feel you in more on Friday I will answer some of the questions that I over heard being asked…

A: = Answer Q: = Question R: = Reason

Q: “Is Travis ok.” A yes.

Q: “Was Travis doing (smoking) weed (marijuana)?”    A: Hell no!

Q: “What did they find on Travis?” Lighter, Zippo, knife
R: My friend was at my house one day and saw these items in my room and he liked them. I put them in my backpack, which I was going to put all my stuff in to go to his party the next day.
My initial idea was to sell him some of the stuff because I didn’t collect knives or lighters any more and, he did! So I thought I could make some good money. Well when I got to Roberts party I started having so much fun that I forgot the things were in there and when I went to school and found a cigar and decided to “what the hell, give it a try.” When I went back there to those bushes. I had taken two puffs and started to cough and knew that I had made a big mistake. In my life I have experienced much strife, but I’m foolish because it all goes away sooner or later. I realize I have been acting very weird lately and have probably lost a couple of friends. I hope not, but if that is a result of my actions, than I have nothing to do but except that.
I hope you don’t think less of me through this experience, though if you do, I will understand. But I am in for a change. I used to be, last year, I was quite, and didn’t have many friends, but I made good grades and only got in trouble at home. When I was a kikker and had my buzz cut I always told myself no matter what happened, “Travis no matter what you do, no matter where you say, no matter where you go, not many people are going to except you for whom you are. So never change yourself for what somebody wants you to be, only change for what you want to be!!” and somewhere along the line I lost track of that notion. I don’t know why. I guess, in a way, I’m living a life of shadows. Feeling that I have to be cool to be wanted. Instead right now I’m starting to see life through my own eyes. I’m starting to realize that many things don’t revolve around me. I see know that I‘m starting to burrow in my own pity and it ain’t working I shouldn’t let dread go to my head, because it just ain’t for me.
Though I hope you will you don’t have to believe the words that I say. You don’t have to trust me. Yet more than usual lately I have been preying but I’m not going to mention the words that I’ve been saying. But don’t worry I’m getting back on track. As for now I’m going to go study for Oz, because the advanced theater arts teacher said “for the next five days I your ass tied to a tree.” In those exact words so I have to get on the ball. I hope I will talk to you later. Good BYE!!

P.S. If your wandering how much trouble I’m in, I’m not quite sure. I know that the teachers on duty wont take this to the principal or any other school personal because it would jeopardize the theater arts play. They, however, did tell a lot of the parents of the kids who were involved. I managed to sneak out to my parent’s truck before they saw me, and pretended like nothing happened. So they may call my parents. I don’t know, “I’m in the crapper,” As the advanced theater arts teacher would say. Well I got to jet, BYE!!

Love,
Travis Thomas
 

“Damned to hell.”
I need to get out of this life, because of the suffering and the pain. It’s a hell I cannot contain. I’m tired of the nocturnal silence, which deprives me of the will to live life. So I take the knife…
And slit my wrist.
Now all I feel is emptiness as I fall to one knee. I think, “somebody needs to wake me up in reality.” I must be dead, I realize as my nightmares come to life and the angel of death takes my hand to the unpromised land. “Oh who cares?” I mutter hopelessly. Was I the only one who could see that we were all just damned souls upon thy earth? Now, from below I can hear the cries from above of those who worship the crow, not the dove. People that are not like us, wander why we cry. It’s because of the thought of death; we all want to die. Now I bid farewell, just remember you may not know when you are going to hell.
 
 

This is a poem a girl wrote about me in junior high:
Oh Travis!
Oh Travis every time I see you it turns on a light in my soul.
You make me feel the bliss.
It’s your kiss staring at me in the moonlight.
Perhaps tomorrow he’ll ask me out. I dream.
Just thinking of it makes me gleam.
Then my dreams are shattered by the harsh reality.
No, oh no, please no… yes he’s already going steady.
“I don’t care!” I say, I’ll always be ready

Oh Travis how can I express my feelings?
I want you to touch me, to kiss me, to hold me tight!
Oh, what is holding you back?
   Is there something I lack?
Please, oh please tell me!
   What did I do wrong?
I want to talk to you all night!
If only I could say something right!
I feel so nervous when I’m around you!
Do I sound desperate?
    No, I’m just starving for your love.
Oh, Travis. I have just three words that I hope you will listen to “I love you!!!!”

Courtney Cleveland
 

“The light of my love.”
In the silent solemn I gaze upon every star so bright. I wander were you are, the girl of my every dream as I’m blinded by the light and beam of the moon above.
So far away in its own wide world I giv’eth the all I got and the owner of the heart of my love, shall never be forgot.  I long for thee each day and night hoping she would come and hold me tight. I need her so badly I can hardly wait, perhaps she lives I another state.
I search for up and down, in the cities and in the town. Am I going to have to search the whole world ‘round and through before I find you. I don’t know what else to do what other places to try, I think I’ll just sit down and soak the ground as I cry. This is killing me inside, I feel as if I’m going to die.
Now it’s the morning and I walk to the park, It’s long past dark so it’s a crowded place and there she is!  Her eyes, her hair, her beautiful face. She’s jogging the track and she flies by with grace. All I see know is her back and I wander if a can keep the same pace.
She looks as beautiful as a dove, sent from the wonderful heavens above. Now I have the power to run by her side. But on her hand I see a ring and I feel as if I just died. In my heart there’s a sting and I fall to the track, I feel as if I’m having a heart attack. Now all I see is you back and I feel as if I cant breath, like I’m having an asthma attack. Now you fade away as I whisper good bye, I’ll give it one more try, another time… another day.
 

“This Kiss.”
This kiss! I long to feel this kiss, with the feeling of relentlessness of your lips pressed against mine. Heart to heart and breast upon breast. In a bliss so very divine. Like whine, it only gets better with time. So will you please allow “this kiss” to be mine.
 

“Singled Out.”
I am singled out upon this earth. I have disgraced many with my birth. I haven’t any further desire to live, to strive, to think that I actually have the power to stay alive. From my job I was fired, now the money is undesired… If I starve let it happen. If I bleed let it happen. If I shall die don’t cry, let it happen.
I have breathed the air you have, I have walked the ground like you have, and I have cried tears, as you have. But you are loved, I ma still singled out. I cry with much doubt of will I want to awake tomorrow, ‘cause all I feel I sorrow. My soul the devil wants to borrow. I want to put a bullet in my head; I need to be dead.
My tears are not only for me, but for people who have bleed like I. The girls hate me, the guys wont to kick my ass, damn how long is this going to last? When will it be past? I’m heart broken, in a state of depression. I’m burning up inside, maybe this world would be better if I just died. Should I abide by the law of the bible? Yes, I should… but I cant. So as I die I will be thrown into the fire and end my life, for this is what I’ve always desired.




 
 
 




The Flood.

While the rain came pouring down,
With the thunder and lightning all around,
I am but death bound.
Nothing merely showing but my frown.
With the flood rapidly traveling over the town.

The saintly, ungodly, undaunted, way of death,
The water to suffocate you… with out a breath.

And now so sternly I stood staring, all my soul with in my baring, while my heart all but daring. Now the house around me scaring, scaring everything I know in my brain.

I step into the storm of night with my heart o full of fright as I try to hold myself tight, on my head I feel the pounding of rain…
Am I going insane? For there isn’t a cloud in sight. Maybe it’s my vision being blurred, with all the thoughts inside me stirred

I’m lost! The pain, know body can tame my heart, hell know body wants to start. . Why did I have to be born? My life is falling apart! I carve things into my arm, ’cause I know I ain’t got any charm, I cant love. There’s a pounding in my ears, the suffering and the tears. How have I lived for this many years? I find myself unable to breathe. I’m living life in a rush. I try to talk and people tell me to hush. What should I do…?

Should I start a new life or try violence and drugs to end my strife? I wont to die, I feel sick to my stomach. So I lie down in bed and cry. All I feel is hurt people step on my like dirt. All my emotions are storming. Now I have but one question… will I have the power to awake in the morning?



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Published on 09/08/99
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